What do you say when the unspeakable happens? What do you say when tragedy strikes? As a minister, I like to have to right words to say, but I rarely find myself in that position.
Thursday night I got word that the unspeakable had happened. A fellow seminary friend and classmate was violently killed in his church in North Texas. His church is just over two hours from the church I currently serve. Everyone is shocked and stunned. His family. His congregation. The Police. Truett Seminary. Ministers around the world. Me.
I'm not sure what to say. I'm not even sure what I feel.
Anger. Outrage. Grief. Pain. Shock. Numb. Questions. Fear. Sadness. That's part of it. But it goes deeper into words I don't have in my vocabulary. All this, and yet I didn't know him as well as so many others.
Even so, God is God. I am not; we are not. And I'm reminded, "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, your perfect love is casting out fear..."
Lord, have mercy. Christ, have mercy. Lord, have mercy.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Pastoral Care
The past couple of weeks my pastor has been out of town for various reasons. She completed her second week of classroom work for her DMin at Brite Divinity School. And, she welcomed her first grandchild into the world this last Tuesday. Benjamin Thomas Coyle is doing well and is loved beyond what he knows.
So, while she's been learning and loving, I've been holding down the fort at the church. That means lots of pastoral care. We've had several people in the hospital and several more who are recovering from major medical procedures.
I've learned one major thing in this process. Something that I knew (in my head), but hadn't ever really practiced. Sometimes people just need to talk. And, they need someone to listen.
So, slow down and take time to really be present to people. Listen to what they say and what they don't say. Let them tell their story. That is as much pastoral care as praying or sitting with someone at the hospital or comforting someone after the loss of a loved one.
Listen.
So, while she's been learning and loving, I've been holding down the fort at the church. That means lots of pastoral care. We've had several people in the hospital and several more who are recovering from major medical procedures.
I've learned one major thing in this process. Something that I knew (in my head), but hadn't ever really practiced. Sometimes people just need to talk. And, they need someone to listen.
So, slow down and take time to really be present to people. Listen to what they say and what they don't say. Let them tell their story. That is as much pastoral care as praying or sitting with someone at the hospital or comforting someone after the loss of a loved one.
Listen.
Monday, January 17, 2011
And the verdict......
Keeping up with the goals I set for myself has already proved to be a challenge. It's only two and half weeks in, and I've missed some this early in the process!!
1. I've done a decent job of eating at home. I told my dad I was going to forget Sonic runs in the afternoons during 2011 as his birthday present for 2010. Actually, it was about all eating out, unless it was a planned event, like Clergy Girls or a ministry appointment or family dinner. You get the point....I've eaten fast food a couple of times and only been to Sonic once for a Diet Coke since Christmas.
2. I have been so busy with work the last three weeks that I have barely touched reading. I am currently working through Booker T. Washington's autobiography, Up From Slavery. And, I'm slowly making my way through Karl Barth's Church Dogmatics...very, VERY slowly. I should have at least three books finished; my count is zero. It will come.
3. I have paid down a good bit on debt this month, thanks to Christmas cash. Due to the rise in federal withholding taxes this year, I am bringing home less than last year...yes, even with the tax cut. The rise is bigger than the cut for me.....
4. I said I was going to post weekly on here in order to keep up with writing. Well, I haven't posted here, but I have been writing. I wrote a sermon for January 9th along with a communion meditation. Then, at 10:30pm Saturday the 15th, I got a call that our guest preacher was sick. So, I wrote a sermon and delivered it in less than 12 hours! That in addition to another communion meditation. And, I'm the guest speaker at our Disciples Women's Ministry General Meeting tomorrow, so more writing. Lots of writing, just not much posting. You can link to the sermon manuscripts here.
5. I am talking with a good friend and seminary professor at the end of this week to talk about some continuing professional growth opportunities. And, On January 29th, I will be traveling with a group from my church to an all day workshop in the Dallas area. I'm looking forward to it.
6. Ministry has been so busy with programs starting back up, extra responsibilities while Charlotte has been gone for continuing ed (two weeks ago) and vacation this week (to see her first grandchild born, sometime in the next 24 hours!), a funeral, surprise preaching engagements, etc. that life outside of work has been put on hold. However, I did meet my cousin for a cup of really good coffee in Downtown Paris last week. It was good to catch up and just sit for a while. --I might also add that I've had pneumonia for a chunk of this time, and a sinus infection that's flaring up again. Busy, busy, busy.
For now, I'm going to enjoy my mac and cheese, watered down Diet Coke and a good night's sleep.
Shalom.
1. I've done a decent job of eating at home. I told my dad I was going to forget Sonic runs in the afternoons during 2011 as his birthday present for 2010. Actually, it was about all eating out, unless it was a planned event, like Clergy Girls or a ministry appointment or family dinner. You get the point....I've eaten fast food a couple of times and only been to Sonic once for a Diet Coke since Christmas.
2. I have been so busy with work the last three weeks that I have barely touched reading. I am currently working through Booker T. Washington's autobiography, Up From Slavery. And, I'm slowly making my way through Karl Barth's Church Dogmatics...very, VERY slowly. I should have at least three books finished; my count is zero. It will come.
3. I have paid down a good bit on debt this month, thanks to Christmas cash. Due to the rise in federal withholding taxes this year, I am bringing home less than last year...yes, even with the tax cut. The rise is bigger than the cut for me.....
4. I said I was going to post weekly on here in order to keep up with writing. Well, I haven't posted here, but I have been writing. I wrote a sermon for January 9th along with a communion meditation. Then, at 10:30pm Saturday the 15th, I got a call that our guest preacher was sick. So, I wrote a sermon and delivered it in less than 12 hours! That in addition to another communion meditation. And, I'm the guest speaker at our Disciples Women's Ministry General Meeting tomorrow, so more writing. Lots of writing, just not much posting. You can link to the sermon manuscripts here.
5. I am talking with a good friend and seminary professor at the end of this week to talk about some continuing professional growth opportunities. And, On January 29th, I will be traveling with a group from my church to an all day workshop in the Dallas area. I'm looking forward to it.
6. Ministry has been so busy with programs starting back up, extra responsibilities while Charlotte has been gone for continuing ed (two weeks ago) and vacation this week (to see her first grandchild born, sometime in the next 24 hours!), a funeral, surprise preaching engagements, etc. that life outside of work has been put on hold. However, I did meet my cousin for a cup of really good coffee in Downtown Paris last week. It was good to catch up and just sit for a while. --I might also add that I've had pneumonia for a chunk of this time, and a sinus infection that's flaring up again. Busy, busy, busy.
For now, I'm going to enjoy my mac and cheese, watered down Diet Coke and a good night's sleep.
Shalom.
Friday, December 31, 2010
New Year's Resolutions
Today is New Year's Eve, the traditional day that many people commit to doing better and being better in the next year. For me, this year marks the last year in my 20's. I'm thinking I need to work on some things before I hit 30 and the time has come. It's now or never. So, here are some of my goals for 2011.
1. Get healthy. Well, this may be a life long thing, but I need to eat better and work out regularly and take control back. (Even though I have an issue with wanting too much control!)
2. Read widely. I want to read at least 75 books in 2011. I have almost 300 in the archives on my Kindle account, and the library has several more on my list.
3. Finances. Live simply in order to give more.
4. Writing. I want to write more and this blog is one way. Expect a post at least once a week on what I'm reading or doing or what's going on in life
5. Professional growth. I am committing to enter a mentoring program with True Course Ministries out of Waco, Texas. Michael Godfrey is a wise man who has been in ministry for more than 30 years and I look forward to learning from him.
6. Getting a life. My pastor, whom I love and respect more than she knows, told me one day to "get a life." By that she meant, get out in the community, enjoy life, experience things, have fun. She was right. I need to do that more often. And, I need to intentionally build community with people that are in my age range. I spend a lot of time with a lot of people, but very few are in the 20's-30's range. Here's to life!
I think that may be more than enough for 2011. I have a lot of ministry goals as well, but I want to have a record of the personal ones as well. I'll check back in every so often to let you know how I'm doing on them.
Grace and peace.
1. Get healthy. Well, this may be a life long thing, but I need to eat better and work out regularly and take control back. (Even though I have an issue with wanting too much control!)
2. Read widely. I want to read at least 75 books in 2011. I have almost 300 in the archives on my Kindle account, and the library has several more on my list.
3. Finances. Live simply in order to give more.
4. Writing. I want to write more and this blog is one way. Expect a post at least once a week on what I'm reading or doing or what's going on in life
5. Professional growth. I am committing to enter a mentoring program with True Course Ministries out of Waco, Texas. Michael Godfrey is a wise man who has been in ministry for more than 30 years and I look forward to learning from him.
6. Getting a life. My pastor, whom I love and respect more than she knows, told me one day to "get a life." By that she meant, get out in the community, enjoy life, experience things, have fun. She was right. I need to do that more often. And, I need to intentionally build community with people that are in my age range. I spend a lot of time with a lot of people, but very few are in the 20's-30's range. Here's to life!
I think that may be more than enough for 2011. I have a lot of ministry goals as well, but I want to have a record of the personal ones as well. I'll check back in every so often to let you know how I'm doing on them.
Grace and peace.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Goals in 2010
Well, it's the end of December so I thought it might be good to look back at the goals I set for myself at the beginning of the year. It's a mixed bag this time around. I accomplished some and came close on others (or am actively working on them); other goals are a complete wash.
So here is the verdict:
1. Reading books---As of December 28, I have read 51 books. My goal for the year was 52. Consider it completed! (I have three I am currently working on and should have at least one finished before Saturday rolls around.)
2. Work out---fail.
3. Spend time with people---I'm still learning how to do this, but find myself really working to focus on them instead of the five million other things during the conversation. So, making progress.
4. Journal and write---for the most part, fail. I haven't done much creative expression work. A couple of sermons, yes. Lessons for youth, yes. But not much in the way of my intention.
5. Work to simplify finances---Working on it. Credit card is less than at the beginning of the year. I am gainfully employed, and living with my folks where I am only paying a few bills (my phone, insurance, credit card, etc). So, this one is in the "making progress stage, too.
6. Free entertainment--In spite of my pastor/boss telling me to "get a life," I have done okay in this realm. Watched movies in the park over the summer, read books from the library, gotten 300 free fluff books with my kindle apps (notice they are free too!) and watched my youth play soccer and band instruments throughout the fall. So, I say, completed.
7. I've thought a good bit about starting a DMin program, especially since Charlotte began her DMin at Brite this fall. However, I'm still debating topics, emphases and even schools at this point. So, making progress.
So, the total.
2=completed! 3=making progress! 2=fail.
But, that's okay. I have made some good strides and hope I am better for it. Hang around the next few days to see the goals for 2011.
grace and peace.
So here is the verdict:
1. Reading books---As of December 28, I have read 51 books. My goal for the year was 52. Consider it completed! (I have three I am currently working on and should have at least one finished before Saturday rolls around.)
2. Work out---fail.
3. Spend time with people---I'm still learning how to do this, but find myself really working to focus on them instead of the five million other things during the conversation. So, making progress.
4. Journal and write---for the most part, fail. I haven't done much creative expression work. A couple of sermons, yes. Lessons for youth, yes. But not much in the way of my intention.
5. Work to simplify finances---Working on it. Credit card is less than at the beginning of the year. I am gainfully employed, and living with my folks where I am only paying a few bills (my phone, insurance, credit card, etc). So, this one is in the "making progress stage, too.
6. Free entertainment--In spite of my pastor/boss telling me to "get a life," I have done okay in this realm. Watched movies in the park over the summer, read books from the library, gotten 300 free fluff books with my kindle apps (notice they are free too!) and watched my youth play soccer and band instruments throughout the fall. So, I say, completed.
7. I've thought a good bit about starting a DMin program, especially since Charlotte began her DMin at Brite this fall. However, I'm still debating topics, emphases and even schools at this point. So, making progress.
So, the total.
2=completed! 3=making progress! 2=fail.
But, that's okay. I have made some good strides and hope I am better for it. Hang around the next few days to see the goals for 2011.
grace and peace.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
"What is that?!?"
This morning I was unusually tired, and knew that this day held lots of high energy situations. Sunday school, worship, board meeting, delivery of Thanksgiving baskets, dinner with my junior high youth. I generally enjoy all of these things, but when I'm tired, they can become chores instead of ministry.
So, I did what any sane person would do. I found caffeine.
Normally I'm a Diet Coke junkie! I mean, a real junkie. I wake up and head for a Diet Coke. I eat lunch with a Diet Coke. I even end my day with a Diet Coke. But today, I needed more lead than a Diet Coke can offer. I reached for the Mountain Dew.
As I sat down at the table for lunch and our board meeting, I was asked, "Lory! What is that?!" It was my drink. My peel-paint-off-the-walls-yellow drink. And, so the conversation about my caffeine consumption began.
I admit it. I have an addiction to Diet Coke. It's not because it's diet. Really, it's not. I am one of those weird people who actually like the taste better. I've been drinking it since I was in the 3rd grade (except for a four year hiatus from all soda!). I like it. No, I may actually LOVE it.
So, I am enjoying this night (after putting in 9 hours of my 20 hours for the week today) with a Diet Coke. First one of the day.
Cheers!
So, I did what any sane person would do. I found caffeine.
Normally I'm a Diet Coke junkie! I mean, a real junkie. I wake up and head for a Diet Coke. I eat lunch with a Diet Coke. I even end my day with a Diet Coke. But today, I needed more lead than a Diet Coke can offer. I reached for the Mountain Dew.
As I sat down at the table for lunch and our board meeting, I was asked, "Lory! What is that?!" It was my drink. My peel-paint-off-the-walls-yellow drink. And, so the conversation about my caffeine consumption began.
I admit it. I have an addiction to Diet Coke. It's not because it's diet. Really, it's not. I am one of those weird people who actually like the taste better. I've been drinking it since I was in the 3rd grade (except for a four year hiatus from all soda!). I like it. No, I may actually LOVE it.
So, I am enjoying this night (after putting in 9 hours of my 20 hours for the week today) with a Diet Coke. First one of the day.
Cheers!
Monday, November 15, 2010
I Love Apples!
Once in a while I find something I really, REALLY love. Some times the infatuation goes just as quickly as it comes. For example, toe socks. (Not that I wore any, EVER! But I do love socks...ask my parents about my Christmas list the last 20 years!) Other times, the desire for whatever object lasts and finds its way into the category of "I love that!" Or, maybe into the category of addiction.
And, I have decided that Honeycrisp Apples fit that category. They are sweet and a bit tart; filling, but just enough. That is, unless you add a big heaping spoon of Nutella on the plate as well. Apples are good for you. Nutella, not so much. Although, I would like to point out that Nutella does have hazelnuts (at least 50 per jar), skim milk and a touch of cocoa, even though the first ingredent is sugar.
The apples I get are huge. Right at a pound each! I can cut them into at least 20 pieces before devouring them with the sweet treat that provides some additional yummy-ness. There is way more than I need, even though apples are technically good for me. But, I love them. I love the taste. It's instant gratification for my tastebuds. I love the combination of the tart fruit and the sugary dip. Even writing about it has my mouth watering!
But, the reality is, I may love apples too much! Because they are huge, I eat way more than I should. I figure I should eat what's on my plate, and I put the whole thing on there. I don't stop until I finish it all. I love the satifaction of taking an empty plate back into the kitchen.
While that sounds good, at least to my mother, I end up feeling worse than I did before I started. I am miserable and regretting my decision to eat the entire thing, to take in the entire experience of savoring the most perfect fruit ever made. Yet, when the next day arrives, I forget the pain and misery as I remember the explosion of taste in my mouth. And so, I jump in again to eat an entire Honeycrisp apple with a big spoonful of Nutella.
I love apples. I love Nutella. I love them together, but I don't love the feeling after eating a full plate. The question is how I can enjoy their goodness without going overboard. We'll see if I can figure out the balance between the good gift of fruit and the poison of too much goodness.
And, I have decided that Honeycrisp Apples fit that category. They are sweet and a bit tart; filling, but just enough. That is, unless you add a big heaping spoon of Nutella on the plate as well. Apples are good for you. Nutella, not so much. Although, I would like to point out that Nutella does have hazelnuts (at least 50 per jar), skim milk and a touch of cocoa, even though the first ingredent is sugar.
The apples I get are huge. Right at a pound each! I can cut them into at least 20 pieces before devouring them with the sweet treat that provides some additional yummy-ness. There is way more than I need, even though apples are technically good for me. But, I love them. I love the taste. It's instant gratification for my tastebuds. I love the combination of the tart fruit and the sugary dip. Even writing about it has my mouth watering!
But, the reality is, I may love apples too much! Because they are huge, I eat way more than I should. I figure I should eat what's on my plate, and I put the whole thing on there. I don't stop until I finish it all. I love the satifaction of taking an empty plate back into the kitchen.
While that sounds good, at least to my mother, I end up feeling worse than I did before I started. I am miserable and regretting my decision to eat the entire thing, to take in the entire experience of savoring the most perfect fruit ever made. Yet, when the next day arrives, I forget the pain and misery as I remember the explosion of taste in my mouth. And so, I jump in again to eat an entire Honeycrisp apple with a big spoonful of Nutella.
I love apples. I love Nutella. I love them together, but I don't love the feeling after eating a full plate. The question is how I can enjoy their goodness without going overboard. We'll see if I can figure out the balance between the good gift of fruit and the poison of too much goodness.
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