If you really knew me....

Today I read a book called Permission to Speak Freely written by my friend, Anne Jackson. She shared essays about all the things we "can't" talk about in the church. Issues like: depression, abuse, lack of faith, sex, anger, etc. She candidly offers her faith journey full of highs and lows, pains and graces. A great read for those wounded by the church and for those who love the church.

Then, tonight I watched MTV's (I know, not my normal routine) show "If You Really Knew Me" featuring students at my alma mater, Paris High School. Students worked on breaking down barriers across ethnic, socioeconomic and gender lines. Several of the kids poured out years of hurts to other students who had no idea of the pain inside the "cool kid" or "jock."

After some group building activities they were asked to get into small groups of about six and finish the statement, "If you really knew me...." My heart broke as I listened to stories of abandonment, poor choices, harassment and ridicule. There is so much hurt, but none of them felt free to speak that hurt because they thought they were all alone! They realized they were not alone. Friendships were made and walls broken down, relationships restored because they opened up.

Where do you need to open up and share? What is inside you that needs to get out? How can we walk with you as you experience healing and wholeness through this confession of who you really are?

Let us know by completing the phrase: "If you really knew me......"

No clever title...

I don't have a clever title this time around, but that's okay.

It's been a crazy couple of weeks. I have done some things for the first time (see previous post). And, I have spent two weeks house sitting for my amazing pastor, Charlotte, and her wonderful husband, Jerry. I have watered tomatoes and spent time sitting outside. I rested well and read some books I've been "meaning to get to."

I also have been writing, journaling a good bit. Most of the things have been an outpouring of buried pain that surfaced while I sat out in the sun at their house. Lots of things have led to this. Grief, loss, and crazy brain chemicals, too. And, a life lived without expression of emotion.

I never cried as a kid. Never. I learned to not cry and actually had to relearn how to cry during college. I like to be seen as the strong, rational, logical, thinking, level headed one. In my mind, that has always meant being in control of my emotional expression...or lack thereof. I know a lot of people who are in this boat, many who are ministers. (Not that it makes a difference in this conversation.)

But I wonder if this is really a good way to live. John wrote in his gospel, that Jesus wept. He expressed emotion based on his genuine feelings about the situation, and it appears he did so without shame. He expressed joy and anger and frustration and hope. He knew how to get in touch with all of himself, not just his head or his work.

What would it look like for ministers, church leaders, me to be real with who we are and what we are experiencing? Would it help our congregations feel like they are welcomed? Would it mean we could find freedom in grace? Would it mean we could take of our masks?

Still working on discovering all of me,
Lory

New Experiences

The past two weeks have been filled with many new ministry experiences.

August 1st I was ordained to the gospel ministry at Trinity Baptist Church in Harker Heights, Texas. I am the first female they have ordained to ministry, but they are open to women in leadership as evidenced by the six women they have ordained as deacons in recent years. It was a wonderful experience and I am grateful for their trust in me to proclaim gospel to the world.

August 8th I preached for the first time at First Christian Church, Paris, Texas where I serve as Minister to Children and Youth. You can link to the sermon here. It was also my first time to preside over communion. It was a great experience, but a humbling one as well.

What grace that God allows us to be his voice to people in congregation! What grace that God allows us to offer up a reminder of the death of Christ! What grace that I am able to speak and offer grace to so many others!

Thanks be to God for grace.

New Beginnings...

Tomorrow I will spend my last night at Trinity Baptist Church in Harker Heights, Texas. I have been a member there for almost four years. In that time I have been honored to teach preschoolers, children and youth in various classes. I have spent time with a wonderful group of ladies on Tuesday afternoons. I have made friends that will always be near and dear to my heart.

I am leaving because I have a job! Starting Sunday, May 2nd I will officially be the Minister to Children and Youth at First Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) in Paris, Texas. It is an opportunity to go home and minister in the place I grew up. It is a chance to serve alongside some incredible people. I am blessed to be headed in this direction.

And yet, while I am excited, I am also realizing that Central Texas has been home for more than nine years. I love this place. I love the diversity. I love the folks serving in our military. I love the scenery and culture here. I will miss it immensely.

So, as I look forward, I look back. I am grateful for my time here. I am excited about my time there. And as always, I am humbled to serve others in ministry.

Sweet and salty.

I like sweet things. I also really, REALLY like salty things. I tend to keep the salt shaker handy when I'm cooking and when I get ready to dive into whatever I've made (or gotten from some" less than great for me" establishment!). It brings out the flavor. And, honestly, I would rather have salt than any other condiment. --Now before you tell me all the health risks associated with salt, I know. I really am trying to cut down and eat more whole, healthy food.

Several years ago I was reminded of my youth. I was at a senior adult conference to support one of my undergrad professors as she taught the daily Bible study sessions. She mentioned salt and asked what it was used to be used for. Well, everyone unanimously said "to preserve meat." She then told them how her students had no clue about that use. (I gave her a hard time later because a few of us DID know!)

Imagine my surprise this weekend as I read through Leviticus (yes, Leviticus!) as a part of my daily reading plan to read the Bible chronologically this year. (Thanks to youversion.com and Blue Letter Bible for the reading plans!) My general impression is that being a priest was more akin to a present day butcher than a present day preacher. Anyway, I digress.

In chapter 2, verse 13 the NLT says, "Season all your grain offerings with salt to remind you of God's eternal covenant. Never forget to add salt to your grain offerings." --WOW! I can add salt and reference Scripture as my guide! Ok--maybe not.

But, on another level, salt in the grain offerings?! Today, salt helps us savor the flavors of our food. What does that have to do with God's eternal covenant? I think we can connect the use of this salt idea with God's love for us in a couple of ways.

First, God's covenant is something to savor. Good food critics allow the flavors of their food to sit on their palates for a while so they can wrap their minds around all they are experiencing. Maybe we should sit within God's love and covenant with us, his people. Maybe we should savor the experience of salvation and grace.

Second, salt adds to our food. Again, the savoring idea, but more than that. It adds to the quality of the food many times. (We won't mention what happens if more than one person adds salt to a meal that is being prepared...another topic for another post!) Likewise, God's love for us adds to the quality and joy in our lives. His presence in our lives adds a peace and love that can only be found in him.

Two things are sure in Baptist life (and really any church that believes in proclaiming the gospel): we like our food and we love our God. What do we do when we eat a great meal or cook a fantastic recipe? What happens at potluck when we steal the show with our creation? Everyone wants the recipe and we WANT to share it! What happens when we are passionate about our relationship with God and our community of faith? What do we do when we experience the love, joy, and peace of Christ? We WANT to tell others.

Jesus said we were to be the salt of the earth. We are to help flavor the world with him. We are to add to creation in ways that increase its quality.

So, as you salt your food today and in the days to come remember God's eternal covenant. May we consume salt in moderation and be salt in the world.

Grace and peace.