Today I read a book called Permission to Speak Freely written by my friend, Anne Jackson. She shared essays about all the things we "can't" talk about in the church. Issues like: depression, abuse, lack of faith, sex, anger, etc. She candidly offers her faith journey full of highs and lows, pains and graces. A great read for those wounded by the church and for those who love the church.
Then, tonight I watched MTV's (I know, not my normal routine) show "If You Really Knew Me" featuring students at my alma mater, Paris High School. Students worked on breaking down barriers across ethnic, socioeconomic and gender lines. Several of the kids poured out years of hurts to other students who had no idea of the pain inside the "cool kid" or "jock."
After some group building activities they were asked to get into small groups of about six and finish the statement, "If you really knew me...." My heart broke as I listened to stories of abandonment, poor choices, harassment and ridicule. There is so much hurt, but none of them felt free to speak that hurt because they thought they were all alone! They realized they were not alone. Friendships were made and walls broken down, relationships restored because they opened up.
Where do you need to open up and share? What is inside you that needs to get out? How can we walk with you as you experience healing and wholeness through this confession of who you really are?
Let us know by completing the phrase: "If you really knew me......"
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
No clever title...
I don't have a clever title this time around, but that's okay.
It's been a crazy couple of weeks. I have done some things for the first time (see previous post). And, I have spent two weeks house sitting for my amazing pastor, Charlotte, and her wonderful husband, Jerry. I have watered tomatoes and spent time sitting outside. I rested well and read some books I've been "meaning to get to."
I also have been writing, journaling a good bit. Most of the things have been an outpouring of buried pain that surfaced while I sat out in the sun at their house. Lots of things have led to this. Grief, loss, and crazy brain chemicals, too. And, a life lived without expression of emotion.
I never cried as a kid. Never. I learned to not cry and actually had to relearn how to cry during college. I like to be seen as the strong, rational, logical, thinking, level headed one. In my mind, that has always meant being in control of my emotional expression...or lack thereof. I know a lot of people who are in this boat, many who are ministers. (Not that it makes a difference in this conversation.)
But I wonder if this is really a good way to live. John wrote in his gospel, that Jesus wept. He expressed emotion based on his genuine feelings about the situation, and it appears he did so without shame. He expressed joy and anger and frustration and hope. He knew how to get in touch with all of himself, not just his head or his work.
What would it look like for ministers, church leaders, me to be real with who we are and what we are experiencing? Would it help our congregations feel like they are welcomed? Would it mean we could find freedom in grace? Would it mean we could take of our masks?
Still working on discovering all of me,
Lory
It's been a crazy couple of weeks. I have done some things for the first time (see previous post). And, I have spent two weeks house sitting for my amazing pastor, Charlotte, and her wonderful husband, Jerry. I have watered tomatoes and spent time sitting outside. I rested well and read some books I've been "meaning to get to."
I also have been writing, journaling a good bit. Most of the things have been an outpouring of buried pain that surfaced while I sat out in the sun at their house. Lots of things have led to this. Grief, loss, and crazy brain chemicals, too. And, a life lived without expression of emotion.
I never cried as a kid. Never. I learned to not cry and actually had to relearn how to cry during college. I like to be seen as the strong, rational, logical, thinking, level headed one. In my mind, that has always meant being in control of my emotional expression...or lack thereof. I know a lot of people who are in this boat, many who are ministers. (Not that it makes a difference in this conversation.)
But I wonder if this is really a good way to live. John wrote in his gospel, that Jesus wept. He expressed emotion based on his genuine feelings about the situation, and it appears he did so without shame. He expressed joy and anger and frustration and hope. He knew how to get in touch with all of himself, not just his head or his work.
What would it look like for ministers, church leaders, me to be real with who we are and what we are experiencing? Would it help our congregations feel like they are welcomed? Would it mean we could find freedom in grace? Would it mean we could take of our masks?
Still working on discovering all of me,
Lory
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
New Experiences
The past two weeks have been filled with many new ministry experiences.
August 1st I was ordained to the gospel ministry at Trinity Baptist Church in Harker Heights, Texas. I am the first female they have ordained to ministry, but they are open to women in leadership as evidenced by the six women they have ordained as deacons in recent years. It was a wonderful experience and I am grateful for their trust in me to proclaim gospel to the world.
August 8th I preached for the first time at First Christian Church, Paris, Texas where I serve as Minister to Children and Youth. You can link to the sermon here. It was also my first time to preside over communion. It was a great experience, but a humbling one as well.
What grace that God allows us to be his voice to people in congregation! What grace that God allows us to offer up a reminder of the death of Christ! What grace that I am able to speak and offer grace to so many others!
Thanks be to God for grace.
August 1st I was ordained to the gospel ministry at Trinity Baptist Church in Harker Heights, Texas. I am the first female they have ordained to ministry, but they are open to women in leadership as evidenced by the six women they have ordained as deacons in recent years. It was a wonderful experience and I am grateful for their trust in me to proclaim gospel to the world.
August 8th I preached for the first time at First Christian Church, Paris, Texas where I serve as Minister to Children and Youth. You can link to the sermon here. It was also my first time to preside over communion. It was a great experience, but a humbling one as well.
What grace that God allows us to be his voice to people in congregation! What grace that God allows us to offer up a reminder of the death of Christ! What grace that I am able to speak and offer grace to so many others!
Thanks be to God for grace.
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