Hello again.

Wow. It's been almost six months since I wrote anything.

Normally I would do a check in of my 2012 goals and resolutions. But, I can tell you plainly that I fell way short. I read some, opened a savings account and started a second job. However, I wasn't very intentional about things this year.

So, that's the big thing for next year: BE INTENTIONAL.

1) Intentional about self-care. (Days off, vacation time away from home, diet, exercise, etc.)

2) Intentional about relationships. (Forming new relationships and repairing some that need work.)

3) Intentional about ministry. (Both hands-on ministry and training others to fulfill their potential in ministry.)

That's it. BE INTENTIONAL.

Hiatus

It's been a long time since I've written. I've been struggling with lots of health things and finally have some answers and an action plan. I've just finished my third book of the year (Anna Karenina). I'm way behind my reading schedule. But, I've started a new interim ministry position at another local church. Busy. Too busy. And, it's caught up with me. More later when life slows down a little.

Rain

rain pours down
covering everything in sight
nothing is exempt or safe
from its pounding

thunder rumbles shaking
everything to the core
lightening flashes in all
the hidden corners

deafening blows that leave
no room for clear thoughts
flashes so bright that
nothing comes into focus

boom, boom, boom
quickly shattering all that is
drip, drip, drip
slowly chipping away

The first week of Barth

One week into the year and I'm already behind. However, I take great comfort in the fact that I am doing this for fun and for personal enrichment and therefore and not bound by course restrictions or time tables for this reading.

I am not used to Barth's writing style yet. That may take a while. And, I often have to go back and reread sections or reread definitions to keep everything straight. I'm quite sure it doesn't really hurt me.

So here are some thoughts from the first week.

1) For Barth, dogmatics is a part of theology, a subset (or specific part) if you will. It focuses on the content of what the Church says about God. So, it would seem that his entire work is a study of what the church says (or how it talks) about God in respect to various aspects such as the Word of God, God, Creation, etc.

2) Barth is obviously engaged in a conversation (whether real or in his own thinking) between the Modern Liberalists and the Roman Catholic Church. This helps put his ideas into historical context, especially when we remember he was writing in the early 20th century. He bounces back and forth between the two groups as he makes his case for his understanding of dogmatics.

3) It was interesting to reflect on the section about the Church and Proclamation the day before preaching a sermon that came quite by the Spirit. I had written an entire sermon and woke up at 4am to wrestle with Spirit, ending in the rewriting of much of it.

I'm still working through exactly what Barth is saying about the above. It's taking some time to get used to his way of thinking and writing after a couple of years away from theological academia.

More to come...

Books Read in 2011

Every year I try to read widely. This year has been no different. But, I didn't make my goal of reading 75 books. I did read some rather lengthy works, however. Below is the list of books I've completed in the past 12 months in alpha order.

I have a long list for next year as well, including some daily reading items. Maybe I'll blog about some of them as I go along.

1) 13 Little Blue Envelopes

2) 55 Ways to Meditate

3) A Century Turns

4) A Dog Named Slugger

5) A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

6) AIDS2031

7) Back on Murder

8) Bullying

9) Cannery Row

10) Change the World

11) Change Your Church for Good

12) Civil Disobedience

13) Common Sense

14) Confronting the Challenges of Participatory…Media

15) Dancing in the Lowcountry

16) East of Eden

17) Fireflies in December

18) Five Fruitful Practices

19) Hostile Witness

20) In the Name of Jesus

21) Invisible

22) Les Miserables

23) Life is so Good

24) Love Me If You Must

25) Love Wins

26) On the Run

27) Pure Pleasure

28) Reaching People under 40 While Keeping People over 60

29) Recreating the Church

30) The Bible

31) The Equipping Church

32) The Handbag’s Tale

33) The Pursuit of God

34) The Wounded Healer

35) Up From Slavery

36) Number the Stars

When you just don't "feel" the Christmas Spirit...

I'm part of a Facebook group of young clergy women. One of them asked about the "emotions" of Christmas and how we deal with it when we don't "feel it." I can relate. While I have a fairly high Birkman score on the emotional side of things, I am such a control freak that I want to control what emotions I show. I don't tend to be overly dramatic about much of anything without some serious effort. And, Christmas is one season where that is especially so.

I've walked with lots of people in the last few weeks who are experiencing the hard, daunting, painful tasks that life brings. Death. Divorce. Serious illness. Financial crisis. Loss of faith. This year just hasn't seemed joyful and I wasn't quite sure what to do with that. I couldn't force or fake being happy and joyful. And, I'm okay with knowing I don't really have to be.

For this year at least, I have re-framed what Christmas means. I focused on incarnation....the totality of incarnation. Christ came, put on flesh and walked the dusty roads of this broken world in order to live life fully. And, to show us what it means to live life to the fullest. (Seems like John said something about that, too.) Living life fully means Christ experienced heartache, pain, grief, betrayal, hunger, exhaustion and frustration. And yet, we saw how He engaged all of those things. He didn't run from them or try to lessen the effects. He lived fully; He lived faithfully. We see how to walk the journey with trust and hope that one day all will be right.

That day isn't today. And it won't be tomorrow. But, we if we have experienced this world in a more full way (by engaging the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful), we can help walk with others who need to be pointed toward the wholeness we find in God's kingdom which is both now and ever-coming.

This reshaping has helped me make more sense of the current situation I find myself in as I think about what the appropriate "emotions" are for this holy season.


Grace and peace.

Barth in 2012

Once again, I am attempting to read through Church Dogmatics in the years 2012 and 2013. Spurred on by one of my seminary professors (Mike Stroope) I am going to take the challenge.

My friend Jerry and I will be starting a blog specifically for our Barth and CD reading some time soon. Hopefully, that will keep me focused and determined to stick it out. And, I really do want to do this. I just get sidetracked with so much other reading and work responsibilities.

Barth may be one of the greatest, if not THE greatest, theologian on the 20th century. I know I may not agree with all he says, but it's important work to wrestle with and think critically about theology. Doing that in conversation with great theologians and good friends help a lot and offers a range of understanding.

More to come as we embark on the journey.

Grace and peace.