Rest...

Lately I've been considering the idea of Sabbath. Rest. Reflection. Rejuvenation. God commanded it and I have been good at ignoring it.

So, I've managed to carve out some time to just be--without much of a plan for doing. I recently house sat for some friends who live out in the country, complete with geese, a lake and wind chimes. A perfect setting for a few personal retreat days.

The first day was rough. I couldn't settle in. I was restless and couldn't stay focused on simply being, I needed to be "doing." By the end of the third day, I was doing better as just sitting and resting. And, what I found out was that I was completely exhausted. I had a list of things to do and had no energy to do them, so I didn't. I just was. And, that's okay.

So, a couple of weeks later, it's Saturday and the second day I haven't "worked." Sure, I wrote aboard report and need to look at Sunday school material for tomorrow, but I didn't go into the office and haven't spent all my time thinking about work.

In the last 48 hours I've: gone out to breakfast, browsed shelves at the public library (picked up two novels), finished one book and made progress in two others, washed my car and my dad's truck, got a massage, held a precious baby while he slept, slept in, took a nap, read outside, played with the dogs, watched basketball (it is March Madness after all!), washed dishes and did some laundry. -Okay, so a lot of that is work, but it's different work. It's what Barbara Brown Taylor calls "altars in the world"--ways we see God moving and giving us life in the midst of everyday activity.

And, even though I've done a bunch of things, the different pace of life the last two days have been good for me. As I continue to reflect on what it means to sabbath, rest and reflect, I hope to become more intentional about observing this practice.

No words...

What do you say when the unspeakable happens? What do you say when tragedy strikes? As a minister, I like to have to right words to say, but I rarely find myself in that position.

Thursday night I got word that the unspeakable had happened. A fellow seminary friend and classmate was violently killed in his church in North Texas. His church is just over two hours from the church I currently serve. Everyone is shocked and stunned. His family. His congregation. The Police. Truett Seminary. Ministers around the world. Me.

I'm not sure what to say. I'm not even sure what I feel.

Anger. Outrage. Grief. Pain. Shock. Numb. Questions. Fear. Sadness. That's part of it. But it goes deeper into words I don't have in my vocabulary. All this, and yet I didn't know him as well as so many others.

Even so, God is God. I am not; we are not. And I'm reminded, "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, your perfect love is casting out fear..."




Lord, have mercy. Christ, have mercy. Lord, have mercy.